i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
