I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
