Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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