You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize