5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize