based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
