I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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