She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize