i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
