So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
