Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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