WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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