i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
