I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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