Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
