And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am spending my child support on dildos
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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