girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
