Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
