i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
