My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
