Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
