Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
