I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
