Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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