Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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