I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Drunk is not a location!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
