Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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