i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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