And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
