he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
