i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
