i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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