please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
