Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My bed smells like the plague
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