is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
