I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do vagina's smell?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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