Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
