she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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