i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
