I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
