This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
