To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
