I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
