Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize