Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
