you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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