the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i believe in u and ur pee
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
