Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
someone owes me an orgasm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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