dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
