Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
