I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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