you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
