he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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