Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
