I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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