There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
