Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
