In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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