I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
